


You're A Fucking Awful Roommate, Megatron

by Red Dragon (Red_Dragonn)



Series: Collegeformers [2]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Attempted Murder, Canon-Typical Violence, Choking, College, Gen, Hospitals, Roommates, ask me to tag for anything else and i will do so, does that count as an au, even if they're in a theoretically domestic environment and not war, listen megatron is a dick and i needed something for him to do instead of bodyjacking Bee, listen. listen. it may be humanformers but they can still commit murder, password theft, they can still do murders guys. they can still commit murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:23:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22346824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Dragonn/pseuds/Red%20Dragon
Summary: I wrote this in a haze at 4:30 am on a school night. It switches perspective halfway through. You can deal with that.There's likely going to be some kind of editing job later this week. I'll post it as a second chapter or something but this is a mess.Anyway! Welcome to the TF Chaos College Au! Where everything is stupid and everyone commits murder, but now there are laws against it. And rules. And occasionally, classes. It's going to be so fucking stupid.
Relationships: Megatron & Starscream
Series: Collegeformers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608592
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

Megatron slammed the door shut. “Starscream! Pick up your _fucking _shoes, they’re on my side of the goddamn room.”

“I’m _busy_,” Starscream snapped. He was working on some kind of assignment, Megatron noted. Given that Megatron was the most important thing in the room, though, he figured that was mostly irrelevant. He went to kick the shoes back over towards Starscream’s side of the room.

“Hey hey _hey_,” Starscream snapped, and tossed his pen at Megatron’s head. “That’s _my _side of the fucking room. And those are _expensive._”

“Is that so,” Megatron snapped, reaching for his jacket pocket, and Starscream pulled a face before shrugging. 

“Uh, no. No, it’s fine, actually.”

Megatron raised an eyebrow. “They’re on my side of the room. Pick them up.” 

Starscream grabbed the shoes and tossed them haphazardly at his closet.

“Better.”

“Of course, Megatron,” Starscream said, and went to go back to his whatever the fuck he was working on. Megatron didn’t care about it, so he didn’t bother to think about it. 

“I’m having people here later, so you’re going to get out of the room.”

Starscream muttered something.

“What?”

“Of course, Megatron,” he said, grinning fakely. 

Megatron didn’t care that he was grinning fakely. Either it meant that Starscream was going to do what he wanted, or he was going to do what he wanted and mope about it. Regardless, Megatron would get the room to himself. 

* * *

Starscream stabbed him in the throat with a pocketknife while he was passed out drunk on the floor. On _Starscream’s _side of the room, no less. Starscream figured that was a good reason to stab him. Also he was annoying. And he kept thinking he was in charge of _all_ the rules, and he could honestly go fuck himself. 

Megatron, of course, never one to let things go easily, grabbed at Starscream’s throat and jerked upright; but honestly, Starscream had a knife in his throat. What was he going to do, magically fix that by strangulation?

Apparently so. 

Or at least he’d _try._

Starscream choked and smacked at his arm with his free hand ineffectually. Megatron choked and gurgled like someone who had been stabbed in the throat. Starscream picked up something off the nearest desk, a glass, and hit him in the side of the head with it. Megatron kneed him in the crotch and then kicked him in the side. Starscream finally pried his hand off of Starscream’s throat. 

Around that time, someone knocked real hard on the door. Starscream didn’t want to answer it, and Megatron didn’t want to answer it, but they both froze, and then, like someone dying of blood loss, Megatron keeled over onto the floor.

Starscream took a second to breathe and then look outside the door, which continued to make hammering noises, because someone was knocking fairly insistently on it. 

“Yes?”

“Starscream? I could, uh, hear some noises down the hall,” the RA said. Starscream didn’t know much about the guy, except that he sold cocaine sometimes, and that some of the people down the hall called him Unicorn behind his back. “Are you both alright?”

“We’re alright,” Starscream said, opening the door slightly. “You can go back to sleep.”

“You have a nosebleed,” Unicron said, like an idiot. “Where’s your roommate?”

“He’s fine. He’s asleep.”

“Mind if I come inside?”

“Yes. No, get out- “

“He looks dead,” Unicron said, gesturing at Megatron past Starscream. “The fuck happened?”

Starscream paused. “He got really drunk and hurt himself. I was just trying to help, of course. But you know how people are. I don’t want him to get in trouble, and I don’t want to get into trouble either, so I didn’t want to tell you, but oh, I am so worried about him.”

The RA nodded. “That’s reasonable. I’m going to call an ambulance- you try and make sure he doesn’t bleed out, okay?”

Starscream nodded and went to try and encourage Megatron to bleed out faster. He did _not_ need to go to jail for attempted murder. 

Yet, at least.


	2. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plot thread that hit me like a truck.

Megatron woke up with two of the annoying twits from down the hall in his room.

Admittedly, he was a little surprised to wake up. Breathing hurt. It felt like he'd been stabbed in the throat. But he was awake, so now the problem was that there were two of the people from down the hall in his hospital room, and he didn't like that.

"Oh, the egomaniac's awake," the girl said. What the fuck was her name. Allie? Arie? "You're majoring in rare diseases, right?"

The other one- Bumblebee, Megatron remembered that much- signed something back to her. Megatron wasn't deaf, so he never bothered to learn sign language.

"Bee says you're majoring in rare diseases," Amy said.

"It's a hospital," Megatron croaked out. "Ask someone else."

"I said _rare_," Annie said. Seriously, what the fuck was her name. "Listen, Optimus is really sick- "

"Is he _here?"_ Megatron kind of snapped at her. "Because this is _not_ my problem. Also I hope he dies from whatever it is."

"You're a dick."

Bumblebee signed something else at her. Amelia sighed and nodded. Not Amelia- _Arcee._ That was it.

"Seriously, though. Can you help us for _one_ minute? Optimus has some sort of, uh, strain of something- "

Bumblebee signed something back, very quickly, and then took out his phone and handed it to Arcee. Arcee handed it to Megatron. It was pulled up to a page on, indeed, a rare disease that was generally caused by ingesting toxic metals.

And Megatron had been studying it for the past year and a half. Oh, the odds. "How the hell did he even- are you two _kidding _me?"

"No?" Arcee said.

Megatron pulled up the notes app and wrote some instructions down. "Here, i'll give you some pointers on what to do."

"Just like that?"

Megatron opened Bumblebee's email. "Yeah, just like that. I find it interesting. I want to see what happens to him."

"That's fair," Arcee said, as Megatron proceeded to steal all of the Bumblebee's passwords to everything linked through his email and send it to himself. Free Steam account? Check. Free ITunes account? Also check. He closed the email app and went back to the notes, and then handed it to Arcee, who handed it to Bee.

"Thank you," Arcee said.

"Make sure you take pictures. I want to use them for my lab reports- "

"No."


End file.
